The Evil Tyrant Hiding Inside Me

tyrantQuestion: What does it mean: «the beginning of evil?» This is perceived by some as a religious concept. Can you explain its essence?

“The beginning of evil” – a religious concept? I have not seen a single religious person, who possesses “the beginning of evil”.

“The beginning of evil” is my desire, which I define as evil.  Concerning what? I have a bad desire, say, stealing.  I go to the store, let’s say I have kleptomania and I must steal something. I come to your home to visit and see a small, beautiful ashtray that I can’t resist taking away!  It’s simply a disease – I have a strong desire that I can’t overcome, so I steal. It can’t be helped.

I have a lot of desires that I can’t overcome. They won’t allow me to reach the  goal of creation and are blocking my path. The current reaction of these desires, which keep me from the goal, I would call evil. The desires themselves are not evil. It is the response to the desires that I call evil. All of our nature – everything is a desire. All that exists, inanimate, vegetable, animal and man – are desires. But the reaction to the desire, which won’t let reach the goal, is called evil.

Suppose I can’t tolerate a person like you. I don’t like your mustache, I hate all men with mustaches.  I would be glad to connect with you, but I can’t! I also hate myself for having this attitude, this hatred for mustaches. I want to connect with you, I simply must – it will be a great achievement and will bring great benefits to me, but my evil beginning won’t let me do so! What should I do?

For example, I could marry the king’s daughter, but she is terribly ugly – so much so that I can’t even come close to her. If my evil beginning set me loose, I would have married her and then would become the king, because her dad will eventually die. That is to say, there is something that stands in my way.

This barrier is inside me – because nobody bothers me,  there is only this nuisance inside of me. It must be really felt. I can’t eradicate it in myself, I can’t get around it either. I see that it prevents me from attaining a kingdom, it won’t let me live and achieve success! So I call this the evil beginning, because it brings me harm.

Thus, “the beginning of evil” is an evil, provided that you do everything possible to get rid of it … and you find that you can’t accomplish that.  Then it dominates over you. You see how it laughs at  you!  It’s fooling you so that you forget and come along with it. This is called “the beginning of evil”. If you are able to get rid of it, this is not the beginning of evil – and you simply use the desire for your pleasure. Evil is called a desire which rapes you.

The realization of evil – this is not an easy process.  I must be the real judge of myself, not to succumb to bribery, to test the goal itself, its properties, to understand that I must overcome myself. I do everything possible to achieve this, I struggle, clenching my teeth — and those properties  which I find that I can’t defeat, I would call the beginning of evil..

If a person does this, he prepares himself to receive a remedy from above, and then the light will come and fix him. When you have done everything possible and see that the evil, only then can you really understand what is bad.  You reveal the evil in such a way that you are now ready to address the Creator.  You have been suffering enough: «I want, I am dying to get rid of the evil and I can’t do it myself».  Only then do you disclose the Creator. That is, in this evil you disclose a connection with the Creator, who set you up for a purpose. And all the obstacles around you, which you can either handle or not, the Creator has made for you specifically, in order for you to build a relationship with Him.

This post is an excerpt translated from a larger article found at