What do I do with my jealousy, with my lust? You are gradually influenced by the surrounding Light that changes you. It first happens in small portions, and later on it becomes a perpetual process. Over time you might appear to be more egotistical, because you react differently to external stimulus, relationships and pain, and people tend to interpret it as carelessness toward them. In fact, you have simply begun to understand the meaning of what is going on. You do not cry anymore like others do, and you do not panic. On the contrary, you want to give everyone more and more, but you do it in a special way, through the correction of the universe through yourself.